Excerpts from A Psychology of Love and True Success:A Psychology of Love
Acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation - some fact of my life - unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it is at this moment.
I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes.
Acceptance has taught me that there is a bit of good in the worst of us and a bit of bad in the best of us; that we each have a right to be here.
When I focus on what's good today, I have a good day, and when I focus on what's bad, I have a bad day. If I focus on a problem, the problem increases; if I focus on the answer, the answer increases. When I focus on people's bad qualities, they multiply; when I focus on people's good qualities, they seem to grow and grow.
Perhaps the best thing of all for me is to remember that my serenity is inversely proportional to my expectations. The higher my expectations of other people are, the lower is my serenity. I can watch my serenity level rise when I discard my expectations. I have to discard my 'rights', as well as my expectations, by asking myself, "How important is it, really? How important is it compared to my serenity, my emotional sobriety?"
I do whatever is in front of me to be done, and let go of the results.
I must keep my magic magnifying mind on my level of acceptance. When I remember this, I can see I've never had it so good.
Adapted from ďDoctor, Addict, AlcoholicĒ by Dr. Paul O. in Alcoholics Anonymous (The Big Book)
It is my experience that focusing on the qualities of others that I like and forgiving the qualities I donít like (for my sake not theirs) is more likely to result in the expression of more of those qualities I like and fewer of the qualities I donít like.
On the other hand, my experience has been that when I point out over and over the qualities I donít like and harbor resentment in my heart, then those qualities I donít like seem to multiply; and the qualities I like seem to disappear or be expressed less often.
I also find it helpful to pray that all the happiness I want for myself will come to those for whom I have previously held resentment. I let go of the resentment as soon as possible, because holding on to it causes, in my experience, physical, emotional, and spiritual pain for me. I also let go of the regrets I may notice about the choices I have made. I learn from my mistakes as well as I can and let go of beating myself up for those times when I might have acted more wisely and didnít. It has been my experience that letting go of all resentments toward others and myself is an extremely important step toward loving and accepting myself and others just as we are. The amazing thing, again in my experience, is that by so doing my heart is much more open to experiencing more love and in ways sometimes quite surprising to me.
1. Do not do to others what you do not want done to you no matter what others are doing to you.
2. Listen with compassion to the concerns, hopes, and dreams of others. Really listening for the purpose of understanding rather than argument may be the ultimate expression of love.
3. Look for ways that are mutually beneficial to satisfy the deepest longings of all concerned.
4. Accept partial gains as important and encourage an attitude of being as loving as possible toward oneself and others as a new measure of personal success.
Along with Martin Luther King, Jr., I believe, "Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that."
Jim Wells, MD
The following is a prayer I pray frequently:
Dear God or Source And Sustainer Of All That Is,
If it be Your Will, please increase the beneficial energy associated with my being and completely transform any detrimental energy into beneficial energy. If it be Your Will, please adjust the frequencies of all the energy systems, known and unknown to me, so that the highest and best for all concerned may be the result. And please help me to be an instrument of Your Peace today. In deep gratitude I pray.